Music, language I have known my whole life. Vibration of cells, rhythm of the very heart. As a child, I used to listen to my pulse beating against my pillow, the oceanic hum of my breath. The strum of my Dad's guitar, the twang of his voice, "Hey Jude!" as I played with dolls on the living room rug. Hymns sailing over my head as I stood tiny and bold in my dress shoes at church. Chewing the half stick of peppermint gum my Grandmother offered, I listened to my Grandfather's booming, imperfect voice "Oh the land of cloudless day! Oh the land of an unclouded day!". A consolation to Sunday boredom.
And suddenly (it seems) I am 38 years old and onstage in Germany. Mature with the joy of eyes, vivid electric connection, sonic shapeliness, sensuality of sweat, vitality of breath and motion. I can hear you breathing next to me! Ecstasy of hearing! Brain lighting up like a thousand fireflies, playing together, playing apart. Here comes my favorite bit....right....now! We leap into it together, full heartedly and my heart is...full.
We are wicked and polished. Daredevils! The Red Baron in a streaming scarf and goggles. We are barn storming and everyone knows it. They laugh, applaud and wriggle in their seats. They..... enjoy, we enjoy!
Screw all jadedness! All sad sap gigging. All sighing and humpfing and dragging of feet. Smile....rejoice with me a little. These are people who really know how to play music. They give and give and give. It's not so easy when you breathe life into every damn note. When you pay attention to what is going on around you. When you make a decision, a solid determination to be awake, aware, alive....every moment. That is the effort, the gift.
These are people who really know how to play music. It makes me happy, grateful. Proprioception - extend awareness outward - ears, body, mind, heart. And we become something so much bigger than ourselves alone. I will never forget the last chord of the tour - Emlyn you rolled it! I heard you.
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