I wish that I didn't have such a huge need to communicate. I feel too much to keep it inside - which is probably why I became a musician in the first place. And why I began to meditate. So that I can tame and direct the intense energies that constantly flow through my heart and mind.
The landing has been rough - coming home from Saratoga. I was over stimulated after a long creative drought. And I am not okay. I have spoken (through e-mails, texts, calls) when I shouldn't. Technology has made communication too easy and yet the price (emotionally) is too high. Proximity has convinced me that there is no other way to be with people than to BE with them.
I write to satisfy my own need, not considering what others might need to hear from me. Or what they might need me to be quiet about. Why can't I just keep silent? I embarrass myself constantly (e.g. "The Enthusiast" in the archives). I am writing this for no one and for no good reason. I am writing only because I can't just sit here and feel this way.
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